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‘Can’t Take The Daily Beat Now’ -by Ecork

Mandeep Kaur, 30, in a video in which she explains her abuse. He came out and went viral after his death.


An Indian woman’s suicide in New York City – citing years of abuse by her husband for “only giving birth to girls” – has sparked an angry conversation about stigma in the community. “I put up with it all, hoping he will mend his ways one day,” Mandeep Kaur, 30, said in a video shared on Instagram.

“It has been eight years; I can’t take the beating every day now,” the mother of two daughters – aged 6 and 4 – said repeatedly, crying. Speaking in Punjabi, she alleged that her husband and in-laws “forced” her to die by suicide. “Dad, I’m going to die, please forgive me.”

He died on August 4, his family in Uttar Pradesh told NDTV. Her father, Jaspal Singh, has filed a case of suicide at the district police station in UP. “Our relatives are pursuing the case with the police in New York,” he said.

“We want our grandchildren to be safe now. They are still with their father,” he added.

From different villages in UP’s Bijnor, Mandeep Kaur and Ranjodhbeer Singh Sandhu’s marriage was arranged in 2015. Her family said that she had already worked in the US as a porter, and she joined it three years later. There is no response yet from her husband or family – some of whom live in India – and no information about specific legal action against them.

Kaur’s family in Bijnor said they hoped the abuse would end one day. “We intervened once and went to the police in New York with a video of him beating him,” the father said, “but he told us to go back and he reconciled. He said that he is worried about the future of his daughters.” Now the family has sought the help of the government to bring his dead body to India.

Several videos of her apparent husband abusing her have gone viral, including one in which girls are heard screaming: “Papa, na maro mamma nu (Dad, don’t hit Mom).” In another, recorded in the home’s security camera, he tried to stand up for himself – “I refuse to take it again” – but he beat her until he refused to apologize NDTV could not confirm These videos are free, some of which you send to your family.

In a video explaining the abuse, she talks about her family reacting after she “held me captive in a truck for five days”. “My father filed a police complaint against him. But he begged me and asked me to save him… and I did.”

The woman also accused her of sexism, saying her family “didn’t say anything… in turn it enabled the violence”.

The video was shared on Instagram by The Kaur Movement, an organization that works for victims of sexual and domestic abuse, targeting the Sikh community. We share clips on Twitter on Facebook, too, by many people, who comment on “family and social structure”.

The biggest questions are between the angry reactions online and offline.

Protesters demanding justice gathered outside his home in New York’s Richmond Hill. Some activists from Punjab went to meet his family in Bijnor too.

On Twitter, Facebook and Instagram, people from various countries – the Sikh and Punjabi diaspora, in particular – used the hashtag #JusticeForMandeep. Many posts say society has failed you. Some people, in turn, put out videos that “make it bigger than it is”.

The UK-based NGO Sikh Women’s Aid, which also works against abuse among the Sikh and Punjabi communities, issued a statement expressing grief: “It describes a life of abuse, humiliation and violence.”

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